All hail the mighty state!

Literally, this is a line from the Texas state song.

So, I'm trying to remain upbeat. I just returned home from a visit to Texas, where I attended my dear, sweet Tara's funeral.

It was a beautiful service. Tara looked beautiful, although it was painfully obvious this was not the Tara I loved. Her spirit was no longer there and because Tara was always so full of life and energy, it was hard to see her without a smile on her face and in her eyes.

I was so glad I made it to her funeral. It was good to see her closest friend, Lisa, and to visit with Tara's brother Jeremy. But I almost didn't make it. I left the Dallas area with plenty of time to spare, so that I might spend some time with her family and friends before the funeral. I left so that I could be there 2 hours before the funeral began. After being forced off the freeway due to a road closure and stuck in traffic (and, of course, in typical Rachel fashion, getting lost), I made it there with about 15 minutes to spare. They had kept the casket open and I was able to go say my goodbyes to my friend. Only three years earlier, I was in that church building, helping alongside Lisa as we readied Tara for her wedding reception. What a difference there was.

I know there were plenty of people who saw Tara more often than I, but I am honored that she considered me one of her best friends, as I consider her one of mine. I still sit here thinking she will return my phone calls any time now. Then I remember she is gone and I am sad for my loss, and those of her husband and family, all over again. But I know I will see Tara again. I think I will miss her laugh the most. And how she made my side hurt from laughter during every phone conversation.

The trip was quick and I wish I could have seen more of my Texas friends, but as it was, the baby and I kept busy and we returned home tired and hungry (only from a long plane trip ... not because my sister-in-law's home was anything but comfortable and wonderful).

The plane ride there was great ... Jane was a super star (although I woke her at 4 a.m.):

The return trip was considerably less enjoyable, as the flight attendants were MUCH more cranky (the ones there were stellar) and the planes full (and brimming with nasty patrons). Jane started crying full out the last hour of the first leg of the journey, which makes me nervous because I don't like to inconvenience anyone on the plane and I feel bad for my baby.

But the days in between were filled with friends and family. I spent the time Tuesday after the funeral with Jeremy and his other half, Brian, as well as some time visiting with Tara's husband, Michael. It was something I know Tara would have loved doing. There is a photo ... but it is one Jeremy has.

Wednesday (and the part of Monday spent in Texas) was with cousins and dinner with our friends Jeff and Benny ... which I failed to get a photo of ... but I did document some of Jane's time with her cousins, who she thoroughly enjoyed: