You could drown me ...

in the 2 inches of water sitting at the bottom of my dishwasher. Seriously. This was an option considered yesterday. (I warn you, this is long.)

Moving into a new house comes with a slew of things to do. The list is endless ... literally.

In the moving-in-fashion, I called my favorite telephone/Internet/cable company, AT&T, to order service for my home. I had no idea what I wanted, but the man convinced me on some package that would save us money. Great. When can you come? Friday 8 a.m. to noon? Perfect.

Then my new washer and dryer has a small malfunction. Machines work perfectly, but in a slightly extravagant manner, Lane and I splurged a little to get a robot-like pedestal that will automatically dispense our soap and softener. Totally unnecessary and I'm wickedly excited about it. The hitch? When delivered Wednesday, although all connections are made, the machine says the pedestal is not connected. The tech tells me it is probably the computer and that I'd have to call an 800 number for a new pedestal or specialist to come. Fine. Make the call, tell my exact problem and set up service for Friday 8 a.m. to noon.

Then, as I begin washing all dishes (they've sat in storage for 4 months, my friends), I discover my dishwasher is leaking all over the floor. Call the landlord, she says the handyman can come Friday 9 a.m.

This is heaven. Here I have to wait for all these techs/handymen and they are all scheduled for the same time. Perfect, because I have places to go in the afternoon.

Friday:

8 a.m.: No one there. No big deal, they have 4 hours. I start to unpack.

10 a.m.: Handyman finally shows up. Works on machine for 1 1/2 hours. Replaces some leaky hose and says it is working. Perfect. I start a load.

11:30 a.m.: No Sears or AT&T. Odd. The Sears people told me the tech would call a few hours ahead to give a specific time. I call Sears to find out.
"We have an arrival time of 5:30 to 9 p.m.," she says.
"Excuse me? That's well outside the 8 a.m. to noon time frame I was given," I reply.
"I'll have the tech call you ASAP."
Perfect.

12:30 p.m.: No AT&T man. I call AT&T to find out.
"We have an arrival time of noon to 2 p.m.," she says.
"Whatever," I say. (Really thought ... what came out of my mouth was a happily-forced "OK.")

1 p.m.: Dishwasher leaking a little. Hmm. I think. Still, could be from before. I put in a second load.

1:30 p.m.: Still no AT&T and, more disturbing, no call from Sears. I call Sears back and re-explain the problem/situation.
"I'll connect you to the tech."
(Wait 5 minutes.)
"We already have a message into the tech to call you," she says.
"I know. That was 2 hours ago and I was told he'd call ASAP," I say.
"He'll call you right away."

3 p.m.: AT&T guy shows up and begins his connection deal. Hooray! Something happening.

3:30 p.m.: Discover the dishwasher is indeed still broken, leaking and now pooling water at the bottom. Have to rewash (by hand) all dishes from second load. Perfect. Call landlord and leave message explaining the situation.

4 p.m.: AT&T guy tells me I'm outside the service area for the service I'm signed up for. Excuse me? He says a specialist will be coming by the house, he'll make some calls (because I tell him I don't want to wait another week for service) and tell me what's going on.

4:30 p.m.: Sears tech shows up. I show him to the washer. His reply? "I've never seen anything like this before." (Hair-on-fire screaming going on in my head.)

4:35 p.m.: Look outside, AT&T man is gone with no indication as to what is happening. Must be the end of his workday.

4:45 p.m.: Sears man is rifling through my manuals (I can do that) and trying to talk to the GE "specialist" via phone, giving me all sorts of lame solutions that even my manual says won't work.

4:50 p.m.: Lane calls AT&T to find out what is happening and gets put on hold.

4:55 p.m.: Sears tech leaves saying he can't do anything. "Must be the computer," he tells me.

5 p.m.: AT&T hangs up on Lane (while on hold). We call right back. Automatic message telling us the call center is closed. Perfect.

5:10 p.m.: I call the 800 Sears number again, retell my problem and have to describe my machine because the call center doesn't know what I'm talking about. They say they'll have a tech come.
"Not another tech," I say, "unless he's a GE Profile computer expert."
"Ummm, we'll just have to order you a new machine," she says. "Did you say it was the dryer?"
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Conclusion: New washer and pedestal coming Monday. Still no word back from landlady OR AT&T.

My mom says that this happens a lot and she figures the techs know they can abuse housewives who they figure have nothing else to do but sit around.

I'm about to channel all the angry energy that Lane says I possess and let people (not the ones who answer phones, but those who are paid more to hear complaints) know how angry I am. Let's see how much time they have on their hands.

P.S. Baby J's 1st birthday is in a few days. As soon as I get Internet, I promise to post all photos/video taken.

P.P.S. I'm on my sister-in-law's computer.