This post has, what my mother calls, potty language, as it is about potty training. Continue, if you will, with this in mind.
Several nights ago, Jane came up behind me as I bathed Elliot. I turned to see my baby girl with her pajamas in one hand and her diaper in the other.
Obviously, she wanted to get in the bathtub.
When Lane joined us (as he generally puts Jane to bed), I informed him that it was probably time to start putting a onsie under her PJs, lest I come up some morning to find a derobbed child and poop smeared from hinder to yon.
He agreed. And then he promptly forgot to follow through for that night.
Enter the next morning. I come into Jane's room to change her and send her downstairs for breakfast.
What do I find? A pair of pajamas wadded in the corner, a poopy diaper in the vicinity and my daughter curled in a (sleeping) ball near the door.
Awesome.
At least she tried to dispose of the diaper like she's seen me do. She attempted to fold it up and tape the ends over the diaper and had laid the mess face-up. She had relatively little poop on her and had gotten the mess nowhere else.
Still.
And so enters the dilemma: Is she ready for potty training?
Issues:
A) She's not even 2 years old and I don't want to force her into potty training before she is ready.
B) If she is ready then I would hate to be the one stunting her development.
C) I don't want to potty train.
She even informs Lane and I each time she must go to the bathroom, but I'm sincerely doubting that this is with 100 percent accuracy.
So what should I do?
Far be it for me to circumvent the cost of a child in diapers, but I don't want to sanitize the inevitable mess that will ensue from potty training.
Mostly, I don't want to force her into something she isn't ready for, seeing that she is still so young. I mean, being that I had baby #2 when she was 15 months, there were a lot of things that made her grow up a little faster, and I feel enough guilt about that.
Suggestions? Comments? I feel premature in this potty training venture.
8 comments:
I've already weighed in on the phone. But somehow putting it down in writing almost makes me think you'll hear me better (maybe b/c there won't be screaming kids in the background??)
I think you are premature. Potty training should be done (in my opinion) when the child is completely ready emotionally and physically for the task. Yes, she might be showing emotional readiness to potty train, as in she doesn't like to have a dirty diaper on. But she's no where near physically ready. Can she pull her pants up and down? Can she stop her pee mid flow and does she notice when she does and then start again? Like a game? Can she be motivated by incentives that she understands the reward/consequence (for instance, if you pee in the toilet then you get a sticker ... no, you peed on the ground you didn't earn the sticker). I personally think she way too young for all of these hallmarks, which are physical and psychological milestones.
Potty training should take 2-3 days. Any longer and you're forcing the issue and it will likely become a power struggle. Take it from a mom who forced her first too early and probably emotionally scarred him with the yelling/cold showers/scolding that ensued with months of pooping in his pants. Um, not good. The other two were ready and done in less than 2 days. I prefer the latter method.
Oh, and Mr. M. The one I forced? He used to take his diapers off and fold them up like Jane in the middle of the night also, from 18-20 months (thus the safety pinning). I started training him at 2 1/2 and finished right after his 3rd b-day. Six long months.
Just my opinion.
Oh, and the doctor confers. He says he's never seen a child that young potty train. The parents get potty trained (as in asking every 15 minutes, "Do you have to go? Let's sit on the toilet.") but the child ... no.
I would have to second Julia's thoughts. The best advice I could give you in addition is, Potty training should only be done when both baby and mommy are on board, otherwise it becomes a negative experience that snowballs throughout the day. It's much easier when it's warm outside and the little cutie can run around naked practicing. I made the mistake of trying to do Trevor through the entire winter. My friends that have girls have done it when their girls can wear dresses with nothing underneath and they don't have to mess with the constant on and off.....for what it's worth!! Good luck. Ask Bryn she is the master of keeping clothes on Ava and Alec who both believe we're still living in the Garden of Eden. Idea: zip their jammies up in the back, then she can't get them off?
With all of my kids, I "introduced" them to the potty shortly after their first birthdays. They would sit on the potty before a bath, or after a nap, or while I was going too. I never expected them to pee/poop, just for them to get a "feel" for it. Of course, like Jane, they were all interested long before they really potty trained. I do not think that there is a specific age that a child potty trains. Avery potty trained in two days shortly after her second birthday. Hunter on the other hand, hand difficultly feeling his need to go to the bathroom and he did not potty train until he was 3 1/2. Owen was more like Avery. He discovered his ability to control his pee when 26 months while playing naked outside. He trained within three days after that. Peyton seems more like Hunter and has no interest. She will sit on the potty before a bath, etc. Every child is different... (Avery's father's dad claims that him and his brother were both potty trained at 18 months, whether that is true or not, I do not know).
I agree with ash. I introduce the potty (I have one in every bathroom) and let them explore it. I start aboput 2 1/2. Like Julia if it doesn't happen in 2-3 days they are not ready. Asher just did it for me last week. phew! Mine have all been different in their abilities but we start talking about the potty about jane's age. Oh and I totally recommend the Bjorn potty. Worth the extra cash. Less areas to clean and can train both girls and boys with no dumb flap thingys (trust me I have had every potty available).
ps. is it funny that my secret word is turd! Ha!
Wait.
IKEA make a great potty too... works great for both boys and girls and is only $3.99. I loved it for Owen. But with all my kids, they really did not like the "little potties" and wanted to sit on the big potty. Back when Avery was little, Home Depot carried a great small toilet seat top that sat on top of you toilet seat so the hole is smaller. I still use the one I bought all those years ago, but they may still carry something like it.
Hey, it's Katie Kingdon... both of my girls were potty trained by the time they were two. One did it herself at 21 months and the other I did so we could swim all summer sans diaper right when she turned 2. So go with it!
After observing Jane during your stay at Christmas, I think you should wait for a little while. By the way, all of my daughters, your mama asks you to refer to the process as piddle, tinkle, wee-wee or any of the other ridiculous idioms I have used through the years. In my mom's house saying "pee" was nigh onto saying the 'sh' word that rhymes with it. (I am only half kidding. You figure out which half.)
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