There are six degrees of telling someone how they look:
1. The "Wow" factor. This is an expression -- uttered in a low, whispery voice -- saved for the most sacred events when you truly take someone's breath away. Like your wedding day.
2. The "You look phenomenal tonight." Otherwise known as the highest every-day compliment you could receive.
3. The "You look beautiful." Heartwarming, always means a lot, but you're not knocking anyone's socks off.
4. The "You look fine." Ok. Now you're starting to fall down the list.
5. The "You could use some help tonight." That stings a little.
6. The "You look tired" aka "You look like you got hit with an ugly stick." Ouch.
Let's be honest: My husband is never going to say #6. He's not that kind of person.
And he would never utter #5 because, while it is not necessarily mean-hearted, he values his life too much to say that kind of thing to me.
So, by the process of elimination we've determined that #4 is the lowest evaluation on looks you could receive from your husband or, at least, my husband. Not mean, but the lowest he would ever go. His, "you look fine", is the equivalent of the stranger's "You look tired" observation -- because no one's ever going to tell you that you look like you were hit with an ugly stick ... at least not to your face.
If all this is sound logic (which of course it is because it's the gem of my brain at 11 p.m., when my best work comes), then why would my husband be surprised that when tonight, an hour before we met my cousin and her husband for dinner, he tells me that I "look fine" and I go into a dither trying to make myself look different.
I mean, I wasn't even wearing my work uniform (read: t-shirt and yoga pants).
Of course, as I went off to change, I explained to him that that is the lowest on his chain of compliments.
The rest of the night was filled with "You look beautiful" or "You look amazing" (the half-way mark of beautiful and phenomenal) observations.
Ah. The boost to the ego. Then I felt silly. Because I had gone fishing.
6 comments:
True story: Once Chris asked me, "You're going to church (looking) like that?" Me: "What? We're in a hurry." Chris: "Not THAT big of a hurry." Ouch! That was definitely a level 6
Funny, funny, funny. Classic Rachel. I've never really thought of what Steve's list is. Pondering required. But I can just hear Lane saying, You look fine. Maybe he's said it to me in the past and that's why.
It's OK to go fishing. In fact sometimes it's an absolute necessity for the Mommy of 2 (or more). I admit, when I've actually gotten ready for a rare night out I have to feed him the line ... "You look amazing darling." We're still working on it.
Rachel:
Speaking for me(n), sometimes we say "you look fine" - when you really do look fine, we're just in a hurry or anxious to get going or distracted, etc - I know, lame excuse, but it that instance it is more a statement of fact than an indictment. Sometimes an honest "you look fine" (when you really do look fine) is much better than "let's go, we're late" etc.
you know, Lane's gotta know the scale too so that he can use "you look fine" in a judicious manner. Funny, i think my husband may have the exact same scale as yours... and usually i'm ok with "fine"...
Post a Comment