Reality: When do I snap out of this crying funk? My down feelings left several weeks ago and I'm back into the realm of some kind of fashion (not just PJs). But sappy songs on the radio still make me tear up. What gives? I'm not pregnant and the baby is nearly 4 months old. Crying to the radio is not me. I hate crying in public. Today it was that silly Kenny Chesney (who I can't stand) singing "Don't Blink".
Reality: There's my mom on Saturday, cuddling with my baby at the restaurant and telling me it really was just the other day that she was doing the same with me. Then I got sad thinking that my little baby was growing up so fast. And she's not even 4 months old!
Reality: Speaking of Jane being nearly 4 months old, she was still in the cradle in our room. I told myself I wouldn't let it get past 3 months, but in the end it wasn't "when will the baby be ready to move out into her crib?" is was "when is MOM going to be ready to have the baby move into her crib?" Last night was her first night in the crib. She loved it ... no problems at all. I had a slightly more difficult time, but in the end we all slept through the night.
Reality: Mr. M is 8 years old and got baptized. I have nieces and nephews older than Mr. M, but I was just returning from my stint in London -- where I felt all old and mature -- when he was born. The fact that he was eight came and slapped me in the face as I stood conducting the music (bless my sister, she so wanted me to be involved, but my family still hasn't caught on that anything that involves a public display of music, I will fail at), I looked at my nephew. He was so fervently singing the lyrics to "I Like to Look for Rainbows" and I realized, he certainly is old enough to make a decision about baptism.
Fantasy: That my body has snapped back, better than ever in post-pregnancy.
I wish. In reality, I am working on it. I dream that I am all back to normal, but it's proving to take some serious hard work. I'm out pounding the pavement, or the treadmill, as is my case. Hopefully my bad knees can withstand.
2 comments:
Totally understand the crying thing. I just got teary-eyed reading about you watching Mr. M singing "I like to look for rainbows." I would have lost it if I was conducting.
And don't worry about getting back into shape. It will happen. Just remember it took 9 months to create the baby home. Give yourself at least that long to get back to the pre-pregnancy stage.
And we DEFINITELY need to get together. I'm back on the 21st. Let's plan something for that week.
Ah honey, don't beat yourself up about that stupid Kenny Chesney song. That one makes me tear up too and I don't even have kids. I also don't like country. That's like double wierd for me. They should not make such sad sad songs for women like us. It isn't fair.
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